ode to the paternal philia

In the courtroom of god,was a mistake done
intentional or unintentional noone knows not
the sentence pronounced is same to all and one
the one unpronounced,pertains to the lesser sinned
Serpent or she,the actual sinned or to be blamed
this question now ,is defamed
for a long run now the cost he bears
the cost of ones love going unnoticed
for the simplest reason, power of speech he lacks
She is the metaphor of love and care
while he,in affection, has no flair
for when you fall as a tiny tot
remembrance lasts ,of her soft hands that lifted you up
but there seems to lack memories of the little smile he gave,
that hurt you hard in the heart,not to inflict pain
only so that the next time you fall,you get up on your own and be brave.
In your pains, tears she shed,the soothing words that she said
rings in your ears all these years ,and long for it ,though old and grown
In your pain he sheds no tear,shrugs and says, so you arent even near
the goals and dreams that you aim, you need to be hard ,you need to believe
But in his heart deep within, the tear he sheds the world denies to see.
Its great no doubt her love unscathed purer than the purest ever
But greater is the love he has,not connected by any cord
her love when blinds her from reason
his criticism and rational,though sounds like treason
Its momentous and shapes you to be real You.


I have learnt a lot from my father. mother's affection is no doubt great but i have always felt that noone realizes and acknowledges a father's affection as much.So i decided to put this up.

I am not a serial killer

Its a week since i watched legally blonde 2...nope the blog is not about the movie...but i am gonna be pondering about experiementing with animals...I work with rats...not dogs so iam not scared of Elle Woods...If any of you is wondering if i have had previous experience handling any animal , the answer is...NOooooooo.I have'nt had pets in my life.....First when i came to know i had to do in vivo experiemnts i was scared.I was worried about overcoming the fear of handling the tiny fur balls scurrying all around the place.Then comes the aspects of surgery that can send a shiver down your spine.As current statistics hold ,after working and sacrificing 5 rats I am more confident of handling them.But what is all the more scary is handling humans...(NOOOi dont work on humans)..just that,you meet someone they ask you about your work and they say poor things those rats....And some people go to the extent of asking dont you feel a pinch in your heart when you kill them. I have tried justifying it to people from different categories...(categories are:friends bio background,non friends bio background,friends non bio,non friends bio)....but some just stick to their point of view.I respect their point of view and expect them to respect mine cause i am not killing rats for fun...For all practicalities, everybody in this world is indirectly involved .The medications we take have been checked on animals so the difference is only that you are involved directly or not...So until we come up with something else to replace animal experiments seems to be a battle of perspeectives to me.

DRAT RATS!!!

1.5 months frm my previous blog,....n I have been seeing more of rats than people DRAT!...even tat has a RAT :P ..What have I been upto....I work with animals do surgery on them nope I am no VET Iam a Chemical Engineer who had the least clue of animal handling when I jumped fields to bioengineering. I have seen the rats many a times but I still dont seem to have the nerve to sedate it,....The way my animal expert does it makes a shiver run down my spine.First time i saw a surgery I FAINTED,,,total black out ...just wondered how the docs manage to do it on humans.Even a kid is 3 times the size of a rat n ...more violent to resist a foreign person introducing foreign bodies ....And a surgery on a rat itself is a tiring procedure....more tiring than readin tis blog believe me....I hope i am assigned a student who can help me sedate rats....I can work on them then.:D

3 point someone (on a 5 pt scale pls)

Exams remind me of bend it like beckham!!!Exams Results hai rabba ...Who on earth deviced the torture called exams. If somebody has filed a patent on it no I am not thinking how many would be cursing him I am just wondering how much royalty he would be gaining out of it...OOo cool!..I cant stand it anymore(as if I can do something about atleast I can crib so here I go),Why write exams.What pleasure does one gain by forcing someone to sit for 3 hours at length within the confines of four walls (did i forget something...) monitored by a hitler? As if that were not enough you are stashed with a paper(tat always looks plain white to me) in your hands that has been tailored by the course guru with all his intellect(or with help from his students intellect).There could be nothing much more boring in life to do than look at the white paper that i hold in one hand,the "black" paper my answer script in the other cause my mind goes blank and the four walls.(Of course I do look at hitler only to ward him off from sneaking a peek at what I babble).I guess people would have gotten the clue that I got my grades or the so called results were announced my D-DAY!!!!I can see signs on the screen negative obviously but I caught a glimpse of the positive sign n scrolled down only to find it was next to the last grade that could keep me afloat the minimum criteria. Atleast I am saved Iam on a lifeboat tagging along with the ship. I am reminded of the poem the "Mending Walls" (I dont like walls),applies to the grading system. By having a grading system what is the line that you want to draw and whom are you trying to house in the line and whom do you consider out.well ,even robert frost and wordsworth were considered abnormal ,n I am sure they can't pen poetry when somebody is snooping on them .Einstein was a school drop out I have pulled my way through school and my undergrad so ....

Mathematics and the thermodynamics of the exam syndrome

"Exam Syndrome" is the word I like to use instead of Exam Fever. You know,engineers like to make things or atleast make things Look Complex. The exam syndrome (ES), is common for varied age groups. Once you enter school you have no option but to be swirled around in this whirlpool. And the extension of the swirl continues if you decide to study after your undergraduate. The plot of the intensity or impact of ES follows a gaussian curve. Intially when you are pretty young the seriousness of the exam doesn't creep in and hence the impact is also less.As you start taking up the national level exams and they being the deciding factor of your future,the peak shoots up.Once you are into college for your undergrad you write exams so very often that you almost become passive to it. And postgrad...dont ever ask ,you are so very passive that the impact is only the previous day or a few hours before the exam.

Now the thermodynamics of the syndrome can be explained assuming energy states to be the intention to do well.On plotting energy states w.r.t age,
Initially the energy states are low as you dont intend to do anything technically speaking.
Then there is a rise which is intentional or unintentional (could be due to parental pressure:D).
then a decline as the excess energy attained gets you into a good enough college and the stress levels are high and one needs to relax.(As if you were a polymer )
But then when you are out of the relaxation mood you realize that your grade curve which had a steep incline has a steep decline all of a sudden.This suddenly attained energy state, a metastable state ,is desperation to pull the grade curve up.But in vain you either decide to fall to stable relaxation state(work safe bet) or unstable state(study further).
Work I guess the exams arent this taxing....or I dont know no comments
As for the post grads
The passivity that arises can be due to the realization that the metastable state exists and that no matter how much you try you will sometime fall into the metastable state and end up in the unstable state or stable state.
One can generalize though that most ppl who fall into the unstable state end up being researchers so....not to worry where you end up.

oops its been long....

Well looks like its been 2 months since I scribbled something.Well Long since I wrote and I have come a long way too. The past two months have been pretty hectic and wait a minute why am I sayin past two months the past 6 months have been really hectic for me.And this blog was also one of the million efforts to do something different from workin,well a student still, so ,studyin....Well for people wondering what I was doing I was enrolled for a PhD at IIT Bombay and now I moved to another place,following the innate human tendency to assume the grass on the other side is greener.Well for me its really gree.but IITB I wouldn't rank it less either.This blog is dedicated to IIT Bombay ....Though I spent only one semester there I made friends who are "awesome"the fav IITB word and I still carry precious unperishable memories (CAN I NOT remember assignments and quizzes and OF Course the tutorials)..Though we cribbed about the workload "at the end of the day" it was all worth it.(All the words in Quotes are the fav IITB words n phrases..and some relate to profs who took classes I guess my friends can make out who).Worth wat?On the lighter vein you can tackle any amounts of frustration ......LOL.The pressure makes one more disciplined ,one realize the priorities ....to work amidst all the hazzle thats going on around you.You learn to enjoy work...or you could go to the extreme of being a workaholic.Time and Tide wait for none ...the day breaks and its like the wink of the eye but the day is done (AND you havent finished your Assignments yet....).weekends are a nightmare as that means more tutorials and more assignments.(Does anybody realize that its a weekend at all///I doubt)."THM"...(Take Home Message")should have been THA(Take Home Assignments ") ha ha ...oki wat was I sayin THM ...never use a calendar for each day follows the same routine.Does that mean we didnt enjoy....OOPs that would be the biggest Lie.The powai lake poor thing hears all our cribs and has also had a good share of our fun also.Walks around(midnight though we were Scared of panthers...or was it the other way) the campus our stress buster and Ice Creams at Hiranandani...(we did find time for all that and of course to scrap on orkut..(but we were BUSY OK).How can I forget the devi temple which has a russian origin (I hope I am right)...The rain walk ...tat has space for you and for bisons.Labs that can accomodate yourself and a couple of snakes that are 5 ft long but are kids you know.Hillocks that are "clunky" to climb so its better to take a simplllerrrr route."Arey how can you forget"...the fishes in the aquarium in acad office.
Hmm..I guess you guys can understand hmmm Am I too fast(oops)talkin too long.....hmm anyways you can go home and think abt it.....you should refer ..you know wat......well I didnt have a coffee mug in hand wen I wrote this but had a coke can ( he he he).